Privacy. Personal space. Alone time. These are concepts you must say goodbye to when you bring a French Bulldog home.
They are not just companion dogs; they are co-dependent shadows. We call them "Velcro Dogs" because if you stand up, they stand up. If you walk to the kitchen, they walk to the kitchen. If you go to the bathroom... well, you have an audience.
The Bathroom Monitor
Try to close the door. Just try it. First, you will hear the deep sniffing at the gap. Then, a paw will slide underneath, seeking contact. Then, the huffing starts. The sheer indignation that you would dare to do anything without their direct supervision.
I eventually removed the lock on my bathroom door. It was easier than fixing the scratches. Now, I simply accept that my morning routine involves a pair of bat ears staring at me judgmentally.
Why Are They Like This?
French Bulldogs were bred for one purpose: To sit on laps. In the 1800s, lace makers in England kept toy bulldogs as lap warmers. When the Industrial Revolution hit, many moved to France, taking their dogs with them. The breed was literally designed to be a hot water bottle that breathes.
The Dark Side: Separation Anxiety
Because their love is so intense, their fear of being alone is equally strong. True separation anxiety is destructive. I'm talking about chewing through drywall, shredding crates, and self-harm.
To prevent your Velcro dog from becoming a nervous wreck:
- Practice Leaving: Don't make a big deal when you leave. No "Goodbye baby, mommy loves you!" Just walk out. Same when you return. No greeting for 5 minutes. It teaches them that coming and going is no big deal.
- The Safe Crate: Their crate should be Disneyland. Treats, chews, comfy blankets. It is their den, not their jail.
- Routine: Potatoes thrive on schedule. If they know you always come back at 5:30, they can relax.
Embrace the clinginess. In a world that is often cold and lonely, having a little creature who thinks you are the literal sun and moon is a gift. Even if they do stare at you while you pee.
Stay weird,
- Sophie 🐾
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