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The Great Crate Conspiracy: Turning Your Frenchie’s Cage into a 5-Star Hotel
Hello, fellow Frenchie fanatics! Sophie here, Chief Snack Dispenser and official face wiper for the 26-pound furry brick currently snoring loud enough to rattle the windows.
If you’re attempting to crate train your own little gargoyle, you’re likely exhausted. You’re probably wondering if this tiny Gremlin is going to whine until the sun explodes, or if he’s going to manage to turn his nice comfy bed into a shredded confetti disaster before morning. Trust me, I’ve been there.
When we first introduced Barnaby to his crate, he treated it like a personal prison designed by his worst enemy (the vacuum cleaner). He would stand in the center, look me dead in the eye, and let out a single, earth-shattering howl—the kind that makes the neighbors think you’re holding a WWE-style wrestling match in the living room. Now? He treats that crate like his personal sanctuary, the only place where his important work of napping can be conducted in peace.
The secret? Consistency, comfort, and embracing the fact that these dogs are fundamentally dramatic. We aren't just locking up our dogs; we are building them a safe, cozy den, far away from the chaos that they generally create.
Why Bother Crating Your Chaotic Land Seal?

I know what you’re thinking: why confine the chunky potato? Isn't it mean? Absolutely not. For a French Bulldog, who is the CEO of Chaos in a tiny, barrel-shaped body, the crate provides critical structure and safety.
First, housebreaking. Frenchies instinctively don't want to mess up their sleeping area. If the crate is sized correctly (more on that horror show later), they learn bladder control rapidly. It’s simple biology and genius psychology wrapped up in a wire cage.
Second, safety. Frenchies are master chewers and expert snackers of things they shouldn’t eat (think socks, remote controls, or whatever unidentified fuzz ball they find under the sofa). When you can't supervise your Land Seal, the crate protects them from themselves and from electrical cords, which they seem to view as personal chew toys.
Third, anxiety. Despite their tough-guy exterior, Frenchies can be needy, velcro dogs. A crate, when introduced correctly, becomes their refuge. It's the one place they can retreat when the kids are too loud or when you have the audacity to make a phone call without holding them.
Sizing Up the Squishy-Faced Overlord’s Penthouse
This is where many Frenchie parents mess up. You want a crate that is just big enough for your dog to stand up, turn around once, and lie down comfortably. If it’s massive, your dog will designate one end the "bedroom" and the other end the "restroom." Nobody wants that.
For most adult Frenchies, a 30-inch crate is the sweet spot. We use the MidWest Life Stages Single Door Crate because it's sturdy and comes with a divider. That divider is your absolute best friend if you're working with a puppy. As your little Squishy-faced overlord grows, you expand the space.
Don’t forget the comfort factor. Wire crates can feel exposed. Throw a blanket over the top and sides—just make sure Barnaby can't pull it into the crate and shred it. We use a washable, slightly padded crate mat inside, something like the durable options from Frisco, which stands up relatively well to the Frenchie nesting instinct (i.e., furious digging).
Phase 1: Operation Comfort (The Setup)

The crate cannot appear magically one day and become the source of all your Frenchie’s woes. It must be introduced slowly and positively. Think of yourself as an interior designer turning a drab box into a luxurious spa experience.
Place the crate in an area where your family spends time. Frenchies are stalkers; they want to be near you even when sleeping. For Barnaby, his crate is in the corner of the living room, near the sofa, so he can keep a watchful eye on any snacks I might attempt to consume without him.
Make the crate irresistible. Food is the key to a Frenchie’s heart, brain, and obedience. Throw their favorite high-value treats (tiny pieces of hotdog work wonders) just inside the door, then further back. Let them wander in and out at will. Do not shut the door yet. This is about building trust, not triggering a panic attack.
Phase 2: The Peanut Butter Pilgrimage
Once your Potato is happily retrieving treats, it’s time to incorporate chew toys and meals. Feed every single meal inside the crate. This builds a powerful positive association: Crate = Delicious Food.
When they are eating or chewing on a highly engaging item, that’s when you sneakily shut the door. Open it back up before they finish. The goal is that the door closing is so seamlessly integrated with a rewarding activity that they barely notice it.
We swear by stuffed KONG toys frozen with peanut butter or plain yogurt. This occupies their tiny, stubborn brains for 20-30 minutes. If your Gremlin is happily licking the stuffing out of his KONG, that is the perfect time for a 15-minute crate stay. As soon as the toy is empty, let them out. Increase the time gradually—15 minutes, 30 minutes, an hour. Never rush this.
Don't Be That Human: Avoiding the Crate Calamities
There are certain, unforgivable errors that will sabotage your Frenchie’s relationship with the crate faster than you can say "selective hearing."
First, the whine-out. If your Frenchie starts whining the second you leave the room, do not rush back in and open the door. You have just taught them that whining is the key to freedom. Wait for a solid 10 seconds of silence, then return and calmly let them out. This is excruciating, but vital.
Second, using the crate as a time-out. Never, ever put your furry brick in the crate when they’ve done something wrong. The crate should be a happy, positive spot, not associated with punishment. If you need a time-out, use a puppy proofed area or a tether, not the den.
Finally, ensure they have enough safe entertainment to prevent boredom chewing. Beyond the KONG, durable chew toys like the heavy-duty Nylabone help satisfy their intense need to demolish things. Bored Frenchies turn their attention to crate liners, so keep them busy!
Consistency is the ultimate key to success. We are Frenchie parents; we thrive on routine, even if that routine involves wiping drool and monitoring flatulence. Stick to the plan, keep it positive, and soon your drama magnet will be running to his crate for a peaceful nap, leaving you alone to enjoy two minutes of unmonitored peace.
Stay Weird, Sophie & Barnaby 🐾
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